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In Part One, I selected the funniest Jewish jokes I’ve heard, written, collected, and used in over 20 years of writing Jewish humor, along with a brief analysis of each. Jews Please Leave Avram went into Church, took out his tallis, yarmulke, and proceeded to pray. ” Another joke only We Jews would understand, after years of the Diaspora, caring for ourselves in the face of prejudice, we’ve learned, like the saying: “Is it good for the Jews? After they left, he challenged, "Okay, Guess which one I'm going to marry? She has been nominated for both an Emmy and Writers Guild award.Some you may know, others may be new, but all are: a) quintessentially Jewish; b) literally put me into hysterics – and still do; and c) are classics (or should be). So for you, dear readers, I bring you my absolute faves. The clergyman entered to start services: "Will all non-Christians please leave." Avram continued davening." Again the clergyman said, "Will all non-Christians please leave." And again, Avram prayed. "Will ALL JEWS please leave." At this, Avram removed his yarmulke, packed up his tallis, then went to the altar, picked up a statue of Jesus and said, "Come bubbela they don't want us here anymore." Our ultimate joke about Jesus as a Jew. ” Some 50 years ago we Jews were often accused of Christ’s death until the Pope absolved us in the 1950s. " “The one in the middle with the red hair,” his parents replied instantly. has listed Marnie Macauley on their list of top Jewish_American writers, dead or living.She haughtily took the glass, looked into it and then poured the beer over his face.He pulled down the front of her top revealing swaying mounds of her tits and she tried to smash the glass on his head.And while it’s possible his neighbor (God forbid) is now calling himself “Polson” it reminds us of where we’ve been. Mendel was on a ship emigrating from Russia to America. " We Jews have been known to make fun of our special “types.” This joke makes fun of “alrightniks,” and is a classic. " And so we have the difference between “them” and “us.” The two non-Jewish workers believed. Her, we don't like." I’ve had controversial reactions on this one from at least one rebbetzin I know. Quirky, no-nonsense, funny, Marnie – writer, editor, author, lecturer, clinician, and administrator -- is a straight-shooter, who has a distinctive voice and takes on the world in her columns, features, and books. I want those schnooks back in my office right after lunch! By all means if you have a favorite, post and share!

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“Rabbi, we’ve prepared a special feast in your honor, with the best meats, fish and cakes.” “Who may I ask, prepared the meat? “Our finest chef, Elijah Manoshevksy.” ”And who is the Mashgiach? “Thanks very much,” said the Rabbi, “but I’ll just stick with the fish.” We Jews have been known to be determined and independent when it comes to beliefs, traditions, and making sure everything is “kosher.” What can we say – we take our kosher food seriously. Eye Chart & More When Izydor Epstein from Poland applied for an American driver's license he was asked to read the eye chart. " replied Izydor, "the man used to be my next-door neighbor!

The clerk pointed to the first line with the letters “P O W Z Y N S K E Y.” “Now sir,” said the clerk. ” Simple, yet funny, in a few lines, we’ve told the world about our complex roots.

Having lost patience he stole her keys, made a copy and started waiting.

Finally he heard her saying that her parents left for Europe and broke into her house on the same evening.

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